Train of Thought

Late Friday afternoon, I decided to jump on the training bandwagon of my rugby team this year, and head up to the park and try our fitness routine. It was pouring rain, and the gusts of wind were driving the rain at a hard angle, as I changed into my cleats and hit the field. Huffing and puffing my way through the workout, I began to get lightheaded, and momentarily considered passing out to beat the pain. Eventually, I started to think about myself, as I usually do when I have nothing better to do. And in the middle of the deserted field, being pelted by rain and wind, weazing and out of breath, I had an epiphany. I am composed of two people.

After some thought, I gave my two internal persons names: Crazy Self, and Zen Self. Crazy self is irrational, impulsive, insecure, shy, self-depreciating, neurotic, scatter-brained, lonely, impatient, sad, depressed, tired, nervous etc. Zen self, on the other hand, is calm, collected, cool, intelligent, patient, friendly, self-assured, confident, strong, empathetic etc.

As I thought about my two selves, I began to think back to all the problems I have had in my life, and how my two halves have had actual conversations inside my head. It's strange, but it's true.. So last night, I began to write down some of these actual conversations. I will eventually publish them in my blog, but for now this is my introduction. :)