Rainy Day

Today it rained, finally. It wasn't normal rain, though. It was the thunderous, sheet rain of movies. The kind that you think isn't actually real until you experience it first hand. This year has been another record setting year for heat, and for dryness, so for once the people of the westcoast have actually been waiting for the rains to come.

I for one, love the rain. Especially at night, when the drops hitting my awning make a cacophony of sounds, somehow comforting in the darkness. Rain makes me think. It makes me want to cocoon, put on a pair of old sweatpants and just sit, listening to its noise.

Falling. Down. It is something that the rain is supposed to do, but today it was me. Falling, down. Sometimes life hits me like a slap in the face, and I am temporarily incapacitated. For no reason, my mind chose today to be the day to question all that I have accomplished, all that I am doing. Today, my purpose melted away with the rains, leaving a listless, purposeless lump, devoid of happiness.

Actually, I think this started two days ago, when I took a shower after going out for a run. Usually, I just hop in the shower, wash my hair, then hop out, but for some reason that day I lingered. Standing there with the warm, comforting water dripping through my wet hair, down my face, I came to the realization that I haven't felt loved in quite some time. Not by family or friends. The problem is, I know full well that they all love me (sometimes even more than I think), but I just feel like something is missing. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I know that time will do the trick. Today is just a down day. That is all.