Monday, August 02, 2004

Summer's Resolutions

This year, I was in China for New Year's Eve. Normally, I make some sort of resolutions, but this year I took the easy way out and made some broad, sweeping generalizations (not that I kept them...). Anyways, I have spent a lot of time since I returned home, doing nothing except thinking, pondering, querying, wondering, etc. And I think that it is time that I write down some of the things that I have discovered.

1) I need to travel. I learn more about the world by venturing out into it. An hour spent in a foreign country, in a foreign culture is worth more than a day spent lazing around my comfortable home. I need to see the way other people live and think, in order to understand where I come from.

2) I need to write. First of all, I will say that I am a gemini. I never placed much weight in what horoscopes told me. But recently, I began reading about gemini's and I will say that it definetely explained a lot. It explained why I have a new life's plan every week of my life, why I have to constantly be on the go, why I have to do things different than anyone I know. No matter what I decide that I want to do with my life (a small sample: scuba instructor, tiger trainer, veterinarian, philosopher, professor, chef, military officer, forensic scientist, etc.), writing is always constant. Writing is my rock. My only problem, I don't know how to market myself as a writer, but I am learning and growing up. Only time will tell what will become of me.

3) I need to be independant. The moment someone tells me what to do, I generally do the exact opposite just to prove that I can. I will make my own decisions no matter what.

4) I need to be learning constantly. I was so unhappy when I used to work in retail. I had nothing to look forward to. Every day was exactly the same, monotonous and redundant. Breaking out of that world, I realized that being active mentally was the single most rewarding thing I could do. And it's hard to maintain-it's a lot more comfortable to sit back wait for life to approach me, than to run to it. It is something I need to work on and I realize that.

So I guess, these aren't really resolutions. They are more admissions of learning. As I grow older and learn more about myself, I realize just how much more there is to learn. And I welcome that fact. I find myself interesting, which is good because at the end of the day, I'm all I've got.


At 6:35 AM, Blogger larrykim said...

so true ... no matter where you go ... there you are. loving oneself, i think, is one of the most difficult tasks in life. lately, i have been trying to learn to love myself. i have been taking walks with myself, spend quality time reading books with myself, have candle light dinners and nice bottle of wine with myself, and have pillow fights with myself. still ... i feel somewhat detached from myself. i think i am cheating on myself. that no-good, two-timing son of a biscuit!!!! get out of my life!!! i don't need you!!! how could you ...


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